Hiei and Burger King!
by ADDFiddler
Summary: Complete and total humor! Hiei gets high at Burger King and wishes revenge on a certain evil authoress named Mana, who stole his new crown of darkness. No, I repeat, NO YaoiYuri. G rated. A must read if your feeling down at all! One shot!


Mana: Konnichiwa! . I'm Mana, the authoress, and I thought it would be nice to tell you that you can expect just about everything from this fic except any kind of Yaoi/Yuri. Yay for me. Any flames will be given to Hiei to burn you back with. I don't even know what I'm going to do yet but my brother told me I needed to do a crazy fic like this so here I go!

Yusuke: Enma help us.

Mana: Oh urusai before I tell Kayko you've been seeing a demon! (Urusai: Shut up)

Yusuke: What? But I haven't!

Mana: Yeah but Kayko doesn't know that.

Yusuke-Grumbles- Freak.

Mana: With capital

H-R-E-E-K!

Kurama: I believe you misspelled it.

Yusuke: Really?

Kurama-Anime style fall-

Mana: Kurama-Jumps upon Kurama whilst hugging a Kurama plushieth- Oooooh! I speak good Police Latin!

Kurama-Twitching- 1, I think you mean Pig Latin. 2, that's not even Pig Latin. 3, Please get off of me?

Mana: 1, same thing. 3, Never! Mwa ha ha ha!

Hiei: She thankfully owns nothing but herself. Now PLEASE start the dang story before the stupidity kills me!

Mana: Ok!

** Important! **

**Mana: Thanks to one of my reviewers; I was told to change the style of my fic or it might be deleted, yadda, yadda, yadda. But now it is saved! Thank you so much! So instead of (The characters name) : (What they say) -(What they do)- Its going to be more like a normal fic. I tried adding more funny stuff to keep the high humor level but I'm not sure I did a good job of it. Oh well. I will have review response updates and stuff at the end of the fic. ONWARD!**

-Chapter 1-

-Setting: The Yu Yu Gang at Burger King-

"Gee, we otta do this more often!" Kuwabara said as he put a fake paper crown on his head. 

Kurama was almost dying from embarrassment of being seen with the Baka

Yusuke saw this and said, "Quick! Where's a camera? Kurama's face is now officially the color of his hair!" He then took a random camera from a random person and took a picture. Yusuke gave the camera back and waited for the white to fade away on the new picture.

"Ha! His face is one shade DARKER then his hair in the picture!" Kuwabara yelled and took the picture away from Yusuke and waved it in front of Hiei's face.

Hiei twitched a little as his way of laughing is highnie off. 

Yusuke was almost dieing of laughter.

Kurama desperately tried to snatch the photo away from Kuwabara before the idiot showed it to everyone.

Kuwabara looked appalled. "Kurama! Don't you know that snatching is impol—HEY!" The photo was snatched away by Kurama

Mana came running in thru a random door and snatched the photo and Kuwabara's crown as she giggled. She ran thru another random door and into the play place.

Yusuke blinked then asked, "Uh… What just happened?"

Kurama looked just at flabbergasted. "I have no idea."

Kuwabara then suddenly jumped up, "Hey! She stole my royal crown of all that's great and royal!" He said, shaking his fist at nothingness.

Kurama and Yusuke just stared at him like he was mad.

"Baka." Hiei growled. He ate some of his ice cream. Then got high. "For it is MY royal crown of all that is dark and mysterious and dark—And—And—DARK!" He jumped up and screamed like a banshee. Then he ran thru the door at human speed.

Kurama, Yusuke and Kuwabara were extremely freaked out by this and now looked like this, o.O;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;

"Yeah, um… I think I'm gonna go see what Kayko's up to…" Yusuke said shakily and quickly ran off.

"And I, um… Must go do my homework!" Kurama quickly made the excuse even though, being his perfect self, he had already done it. He then ran off also.

Kuwabara thought for a moment… Ok, ok, for almost an hour, then, "I guess this just leaves me then." He said stupidly. He jumped up. "Fear not oh king of darkness! For we kings must work together!" He ran into the door, then backed up and ran thru it.

Hiei was staring at the play place like it was a castle. "Look king royal! She's in the tower!" He pointed to the highest tunnel room of the play place.

Kuwabara was stupid enough to play along. "We MUST get to the tower! For the sake of the crown!" Hiei's Katana hit Kuwabara on top of the head.

"No you dote! For MY sake!" Hiei said then ran into the entrance of the tunnels.

Kuwabara tried to run in after him but was stopped by a worker.

"Hey! Didn't you read the sign? No one over 5 feet aloud!"

Kuwabara shouted into tunnel, "I have failed you king dark!" Then was kicked out of Burger King.

Hiei entered the ball pit and jumped in. "AH! It's the sea of bright cheerful colors! Must… Hurry…!" He screamed in agony. He got into a tunnel on the other side of the pit. Then a ball fell in with him. "They're attacking!" Hiei proclaimed. He continued to struggle with the perfectly not alive ball. Then he realized that that was not civilized and put the ball down. "Now, Mr. Ball, I am on a quest to return my crown of all that is dark and mysterious to my dark and mysterious head. How about you?" Hiei calmly explained.

"…" Mr. Ball said.

Hiei looked interested. "I see. Go on."

"………" Said Mr. Ball.

Hiei almost jumped and almost hit his head on the top of the tunnel. "Ah hah! She stole YOUR royal crown of all that is round and circular shaped too! She IS a thief!"

"………………!" Mr. Ball exclaimed.

Hiei then said, "Then we shall BOTH go and retrieve our crowns together!" He took Mr. Ball and continued up tunnel.

-Three hours later after Mr. Ball convinced Hiei to stop trying to climb up the slide and is now in a tunnel that leads right to Mana's lair-

Mana's voice echoed down tunnel, "my precious…" She was petting the paper crown like Golum on LOTR. (I know nothing about LOTR therefore I do not know how to spell any of the names.)

Hiei snuck up behind Mana and hit her in the head with Mr. Ball.

Mana stopped for a moment then roared. "AAAARRRRRRRRRRRRGHHHHHHH!" She stepped on Mr. Ball and crushed him.

Hiei looked horrified. "NOOOOOOOOO! Not Mr. Ball! Mr. Ball, can your hear me? If you see a long tunnel, STAY AWAY FROM THE LIGHT!" He then flipped out.

Mana then shouted, "Who are you and what have you done with my son!"

Hiei stopped and blinked with a wide-eyed expression. "You have a SON?"

Mana looked indifferent. "No, but it sounded like the thing to say at the time."

-Crickets chirped for a little while-

Hiei then stopped enjoying the sound of the crickets to yell, "I WILL AVENGE MR. BALL!" He ripped his cloak off, slipped his katana out of its sheath, brushed his teeth, and then said, "Ah." (Incase some slow people haven't noticed, the pattern was, rip, slip, brush, ah. -)

Mana looked almost like she was meditating now. "I have taught you well, padawan. But YOU do not have the force of the play place play pit balls on your side!" She then pelted Hiei with loads of balls.

Hiei screamed. "Ah! The bright colors! It burns!" Then started cutting up all the balls with his Katana and accidentally cut some of Mana's hair.

Mana blinked then ROARED massively! "Now my ebil crown of teh ickle guppehs doesn't look right!" She had a few tears running down her face. "You RUINED it you big meanie!" Then she went crying down a slide.

Hiei jumped into the slide headfirst

Police were at the bottom of the slide and capture Hiei while Mana was laughing evilly.

-At Police station-

Yusuke, Kurama and Kuwabara came into the station.

Hiei was not high anymore and didn't remember a thing. He sneered at Kuwabara. "What is the Baka doing here?"

Kurama answered. "Helping you get out of Jail."

Hiei's sneer got bigger. "Is this what you pitiful ningens call jail?"

Kuwabara looked scared. "Guys, this is strange, Hiei hasn't insulted anyone the whole time we've been here! He's just asking questions!" He shouted.

"Can you get any stupider?" Hiei asked him.

Kuwabara shakes Hiei. "SNAP OUT OF IT!"

Hiei fwapped Kuwabara over the head. "Don't EVER touch me again." He Glared at Kuwabara

Kuwabara looked surprised. "Hey! It worked!"

Kurama and Yusuke anime fell.

"C'mon everybody, foods on me at burger king!" Kuwabara shouted as he ran out the door.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

-The End-

-Review Responses-

Suriko Song: Hee hee, Thanks. I know there were alotta bad puns but I couldn't resist!

KaraKurama: Arigatou!  


Nura-Glances around and gulps- Thanks… You're starting to scare me but thanks anyway!

Omasuoniwabanshi: Heh, actually it was truly inspired. Thank you! And thank you for the e-mail!

EnchantedBlood: Lol. Yep. That's the whole point! Hope your friends like it. Happy Thanks giving to you too!

Kitroen: Thank you, thank you, and thank you!  


Kradsgirlchii: Thanks and I will!

Socks-The-Kitsune: Lol, I was doing the exact same thing when I was writing it. I think some people have a lot more of a sense of humor then others.  


Ibble Ibble: Heh… Thanks. No I'm not going to make him drunk. People are just plain disgusting and stupid when their drunk. But I am going to handle a little laughing gas in the sequel-Laughs evilly-

Raven of the Flame: Yay! It worked!  


HarmonyHanyou: Lol. Good-Steals crown- Don't worry, I will be writing more-Runs into a play place- Ha ha ha hee hee ha ha!

Silver Dragon Ixi: Awww, your welcome! Thank _you_!

Pikabloo12: Thankies! o.O;; Only one sock?  


Mana: Incase you haven't noticed by the reviews, I'M MAKING A SEQUEL! YAY! I think I'll call it "Hiei and the bus ride of DOOM!" or "Hiei and (Or 'In') Lala Land" who knows what'll happen! I don't even know!

Readers: You DON'T?

Mana: No………?

Readers-Start chasing Mana around with frilly kitty stuff-

Mana: THE HORROR! Oh well! Hope ya all laughed your butts off!

Yusuke, Kurama, Kuwabara Hiei-are cowering in a dark corner-

Mana: I sure did! RR!


End file.
